How To Improve In Any Aspect Of Your Life!

I once heard that if you are not growing, you are dying…

The many things that occur in the natural world seem to justify this law, a law embedded into every natural living organism on this Earth.

Plant’s continue to grow and change, whether that is in size, in bloom or even in shedding its leaves. Animals are constantly growing, getting rid of old cells and creating cells anew. Humans shed our skin and make new skin cells every seven days, and over the long term we are constantly evolving. Every single living organism is changing, adapting and becoming stronger, faster and more adept at facing the challenges we see in every day to day life. In fact, we became the apex predators of Earth for the very reason that we are masters of adapting, re-inventing ourselves and facing challenges head on.

Therefore, the first thing we need to do is accept that we are capable of change and truly the masters of adapting to all environments and situations.

To improve, we need to embrace the change and step outside our comfort zones, no matter whether you are introverted or extroverted, physically strong or mentally strong.

You are born to be more than just what you are now, the very fact that you were born at all is simply an amazing feat in itself, a one in one trillion chance!

Once you have accepted that you are capable, that you can change, that you are ready to be more…

You need to work out what you want to do and who you want to be. Most people stop at this part, because in all honesty, this is the most difficult part. A life long journey of trying to understand self, others around you, their nature, why they do what they do. Why you do what you do…

And the hardest part, there is no one size fits all approach, it is a path only you can really decide to walk down and only you alone can navigate. Of course, there will be people along the way to show you a way that might be easier, or others who will show you a way that will be more treacherous, however you are the only one that can truly decide on which path you can walk.

There are signposts along the way that can also make this path a little bit easier, these signposts are quite difficult to spot and you have to be aware of them for you to be able to see them. Meaning you need to be vigilant along your journey, you have to be looking out for these sign posts and be on a constant look out.

The best way to be able to recognise these sign posts that I have found, and therefore the best way to keep you growing and moving along the path of self-improvement and growth, is to understand your priorities/goals.

Your priorities and goals, much like life, will be constantly changing as well, therefore you need to be able to reflect on your life, your career, your health, your finances and more to be able to understand what you want.

A few priorities you may have:

+Children/Family

+Health/training/eating well

+Friends and socialising

+Work/business/career

+Paying bills

+Living extravagantly

+Living minimally

+Retirement

+Holidays

+You time

+Significance and fame

+Freedom/choice

The list of course can go on and on, depending on who you are, what stage of life you are in and whether you are walking the path alone currently, or with a partner/family.

To work out your most important priorities, I use to ask clients to list their top 5 priorities they have, priorities you need to make sure happens otherwise your life becomes a total mess/miserable.

Most constantly, I found that people would say #1 is children or family, #2 is work, #3 is the mortgage and paying the bills, #4 they might say holidays and #5 might be holidays/travel…

However, no one would actually say that they prioritise themselves, their growth or time for themselves either…

After that, I would ask them what their top five goals would be, and again it comes down to losing weight, going travelling, etc.

Most people would realise they are prioritising things all wrong when I asked them this, as their top five goals in life and their priorities did not match up in any way at all.

The moment when the light bulb hits, that is when I knew it would a life changing moment and they would begin to realise that they can improve in any aspect of their lives. Once they begin to prioritise their goals, living the life they need to achieve that goal every day, that is when true improvement begins.

That is what it takes to be able to improve and succeed, living your goals everyday, which means you need to prioritise them and continue instilling habits that will help you to be the best version of yourself.

Does it work though? Most people have tried "losing weight” before, or tried saving what they need to be able to go on that holiday…

However, they may not have been able to follow through, which is fine, because at least they or you have tried!
The key is to keep trying, to keep prioritising and staying disciplined enough to keep at it.

You keep thinking about what you want your life to be, what you want to improve in, what you want to achieve and prioritise that every day, that is when you will be able to achieve it. You just need to keep on keeping on!

Until next time,

Take Back Control

How to Create Great Habits- Health-Wealth-Life

Habits, everyone has heard of them, but not everyone truly understands the power of habits and how you can use them to Take Back Control.

Over the next few minutes, we will dive into creating better habits, habits that will get you moving more, focusing a bit more on your finances and helping you to improve your life 10 fold!

Firstly, what is a habit?

“Something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it”- English Cambridge Dictionary

The definition of a habit sums it up pretty well, in fact we all have habits that we complete every single day, brushing your teeth in the morning and at night, eating dinner at roughly the same time, every day.

Driving a car is a great example, we have built up a series of habits to be able to drive from one place to the other, accelerating, breaking, changing gears, seeing brake lights ahead and braking ourselves.

All of which have been built into us as habits, from repetition, making mistakes and learning from them. Have you ever been driving your car to work, and time just flies by, you are hopping into the car, the next thing you know, you are at work. Or when you get into a “Flow” state at work, and the next thing you know, it is lunch time, but you felt like you just sat down. Another great example of completing repetitive tasks that you have built up as a habit.

That is because when you are completing a habit, your brain goes into automation mode, whereby it can complete most tasks from a subconscious level.

The reason we pack our habits into our subconscious comes down to flight and fight, as well as creating capacity for our brain to be used for much bigger problems and decisions.

What this means is that we really only truly use roughly 5% of our brain on a day to day basis to make important decisions and to create even more important habits.

Now, knowing that you have habits and that we use them every day so that you can leave the more important stuff to the conscious mind, we want to be able to use this as a way to Take Back Control of our lives and the habits we form.

To do this, we need to understand how a habit is formed in the first place, which is generally formed through what we call a “Habit Loop.”

The Habit Loop is how you Take Back Control of Life

The habit loop is very simple, in fact, our brains like things to be very simple and very repetitive, otherwise it takes a lot more energy to make new decisions or new habit loops. In the habit loop, we always start with a trigger, I have used this explanation quite a lot with nutrition clients, whereby you might start feeling bored or have nothing to do, so you open the fridge/pantry.

The trigger is feeling bored or having nothing to do at home, the routine is opening the fridge/pantry door and we can all understand what happens next…

We either crack open a “beer” or “have a snack,” even when we don’t need it, and that is the reward.

Now we know what the habit loop is, we can actually break that down and form a new habit, something that will not entail you eating every time that you are feeling bored.

You need to start at the “trigger,” which is the feeling of being bored or having nothing to do. When you feel this, you will probably find yourself in front of the pantry/fridge, about to open the door. What you need to do is stop yourself from opening the door, by asking yourself a question, “Am I really hungry?”

You need to move yourself from the subconscious to the conscious level, where you can make decisions, rather than just following habit loops you have built up over time.

If you can break the trigger, you can break down the habit and begin anew. Now the first, second, third… Even the 100th time, you may fail at breaking down the habit, especially if it is ingrained in you from a young age.

However, the key is persistence, to be able to fail and fail again, but keep trying and moving forward!

Another great example is spending money, in fact, I have seen a similar trigger bring on online shopping, whereby you may feel bored, or have nothing to do, so you open up your mobile or laptop and before you know it, you are on Amazon, Facebook or Instagram.

You are scrolling through your feed and ads keep popping up, these ads are targeted and they know your behaviours, they know that you are in a subconscious mind right now and they easily create triggers for you to begin a habit loop.

I have done marketing courses previously and I know how marketers think, they are always looking at ways to grab your attention to break the loop of scrolling and to get you to click on the product/service.

Once they have you, the likelihood of you buying and scrolling through the online store is very high, based on yur habit that you have built up and before you know it, you have spent $100-$500.

Again, to break the habit, you need to stop it at the trigger, to be able to do this, you need to leave your subconscious mind and move back into the conscious mind, which the brain does not like to do to conserve energy on the bigger decisions.

Hopefully, by delving into how habits are formed, you will be able to use this as a way to start breaking down some of your own habits that you want to stop doing. Which could be anything from smoking, to playing games all night, to alcohol, to eating too many snacks, to spending too much money.

You will most likely fail at the start, breaking down a very old habit is even harder to do, so I suggest that you start with a recently built habit, something that you have only just started doing. You will have to think on this, ask loved ones even, because you may not even realise you are doing it…

Once you have your first habit that you want to break, you will need to work hard to break it, because you are literally fighting against yourself!

The key is to be persistent and be okay with failure, see each and every failing as a lesson to be learnt and to strive to get better!

If you are in need of a bit of help trying to break down this habit, you can reach out to me anytime, just send me through a message on any of the social platforms,

Until Next Time,

Take Back Control

A Review of Dr. Jordan Peterson’s “Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life”

The first of many book reviews I am hoping, where I might be able to take out the most important aspects of the book and pass it on to you, the reader of this blog. The reason for this? I truly believe that it can help you to Take Back Control!

Generally speaking, there is a lot of reading in my life, from work to uni studies, I am sure you get the picture, however, most people will generally just read the contents and not take anything in. By my being able to take out the most important aspects of the books I read and pass it on to you, I also hope to be able to gain some fresh insights as we travel along this journey we call life together.

Now, the book, “Beyond Order,” is not your ordinary book in which I would give to anyone or suggest for anyone to read. It is some truly heavy content, where Dr. Jordan Peterson draws from his past experiences as well as experiences of clients (being a clinical psychologist) to flesh out twelve more rules for life, discussing the more darker and chaotic aspects that happen in life.

There is a definite theme of “good” v.s “evil,” “yin and yang,” “order against chaos…” These themes run throughout the book in each chapter, told through story form. Where Dr. Jordan Peterson utilises his past experience as a clinical psychologist to explain these themes, but he also uses many alternative stories to do so as well, such as the Bible, Disney princesses and evil queens, drawing from millennia of human communication through our favourite past time.

Which has got to be one of the main reasons I love this book so much, even though you can tell that Dr. Jordan Petersons methods of fleshing out the ideas and themes are long and drawn out, he does it in a way that engages you and to make sure that the themes are drummed into you. There is not a moment in the book where his long drawn out method bores you, where you want to put the book down, although you may want to have a break every now and again from the barrage of information and to take in the content.

Now the real reason I wanted to write a review on this book in particular is due to the fact that it is a book in which most people need to read. We don’t get taught in school the things that Dr. Peterson writes, things like taking responsibility of ones life, to stop and take in the beauty of the world, that the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows…

There is evil and malevolence out there, in which Dr. Peterson describes in great depth, and goes on to use previous client accounts to explain what happens if you do not draw up the courage to face these evils and malevolent forces in the world.

One of the most important aspects I have taken from the book is that sometimes, great trauma and pain happen. And not for any reason, apart from wrong time, wrong place, just down to pure misfortune or luck some may say. We cannot become victims of these traumatic or painful experiences, we need to utilise these experiences to build ourselves up, to face the great unknown and chaos.

Therefore building resilience and growing from these events that happen in our lives, now there are some who truly have more misfortunate lives than your or me, these people have a choice to make. A choice between choosing to be a victim of fate, or to Take Back Control of their own lives, through choosing to grow stronger and be more resilient.

The same goes for you or I, no matter what happens in life, we can be better, we can learn and grow from traumatic experiences, if we face up to them, and now just cower away holed up in the corner. Be Courageous!

Now, before we finish the review, I just wanted to list out the main chapters that I really liked and took a lot from. These chapters are also the very rules in which Dr. Peterson believes you should live by to be able to build that resilience and make it easier for when traumatic events happen to you, as they are sure to.

Because that is what life is, a balance of joy and suffering, chaos and order.

So the list of rules are not in order of my favourite rule to least favourite, but just listed out below so that you can get understanding of what the book could be about...

• Rule Two: Imagine what you could be and aim single-mindedly at that.

• Rule Three: Do not hide unwanted things in the fog.

• Rule Eight: Try to make one room in your house as beautiful as possible

• Rule Nine: If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely.

• Rule Ten: Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship.

• Rule Twelve: Be grateful in spite of your suffering.

Now these rules are my favourite at the moment, but that is due to what has been happening in my life over the last twelve months. Your rules may be different, depending on your previous experiences and your inner most desires.

Overall, I enjoyed the book, just as much, if not more, than his first book “12 Rules for Life.”

I would give the book an 8/10 if there were to be a score associated with it, only reason I would not give it a full score is due to the fact that the book is drawn out and convoluted. But well worth the read!!

In my next series, I will be writing about nutrition and go through my own story of figuring out why what you put in your mouth truly makes a difference to your life!!

Until next time,

Take Back Control

Life Happens… It’s Not What Occurs That Matters, It Is Your Reaction!!

My last blog, I promised that I would write an article on a quick guide to Superannuation and where to find some comparison websites that would help you to choose a great fund.

Unfortunately, as the title states, life happened, and I have had a massive last two weeks. I won’t go into details just yet, but let’s just say that there will be many changes taking place over the coming few weeks which I am hoping will be a great learning experience for all of us.

Therefore, I wanted to delve into the fact that life is always going to happen, in fact, it was the great philosopher, Gautama Buddha, that said life was about embracing suffering, to let go of the idea of seeking pleasure.

Of course, I am not a Buddhist monk, nor will go to their level of devotion, however, I do believe that life will always include some suffering, because without it, we would never have the direct opposite, pure joy and happiness. Just like there cannot be light without dark, we cannot have happiness without suffering.

Therefore, I have always been able to maintain a pretty optimistic outlook on life and that has always challenged me to react better than most. Which is why I am writing this blog today, because I wanted to share with you that it is ok for things to happen, it is ok for life to happen.

It is not the happenings of the past or the challenges that arise that define you, no, it is rather The Reactions you have to those scenarios.

Your reaction to life, to pressure situations, to challenges, to change, that is what makes you who you are. You can learn to take control of your reactions, which in turn, will help you take control of those situations.

All it takes is for you to let go of your fear, of your doubt, of the failure that occurred or the very identity that you cling to.

Which is much harder to be done, and it may take a very long time, but I always believe it starts with letting go of your EGO, the very essence of your belief’s and ideals.

I want to run through what I have done over the last two weeks that has helped me to get through what has got to be one of the more difficult stages of my life. In the hope it can give you some tools to help you react better, to help you grow and be a better person for it.

1. Step One is Simply Accepting the Scenario or Circumstance

No matter what happens, being able to accept it goes a long way. The way I work towards accepting it is through journaling, whereby I write down my thoughts, feelings and reflect on my goals. Journaling may not be the thing for you, therefore, you need to find what works best, whether that be drawing, painting, walking in nature, writing poems, coding data or answering difficult mathematic problems… Something where you can shut off from the world and fall into the flow of your creative/intellectual side. (Intellect can be just as creative as drawing a field of flowers.) It may take you time, depending on what has happened, but in the end, you will accept what has happened.

2. Step Two, Comes Down to Letting Go…

Probably the most difficult part of the whole process, which is letting go. Letting go of the person you are, the identity you held on to, the ego you have. We all have an ego, and according to Sigmund Freud, we have a superego or collective ego, as well as an individual ego.

Now, when it comes to ego, understanding that life is in a constant state of flux, nature is forever changing, your very cells are dying and being replaced as you read right now within your body.

Therefore, being able to learn to let go, let go of old ideas, old identities that you have built up to survive in a society/world that you have been so use to…

That is the next step, and like I said, the most difficult, especially if you are clinging to old identities or friends, family, potentially money even etc.

The best way to learn to let go is to stop, something we don’t do much within western society. Being able to stop and breathe, being able to take in all of your emotions that are buried deep within, now boiling up to the surface. And just simply let them go. You can start by simply taking a deep breath in and holding your breath, wait until you are struggling to keep it in and then exhale deeply, until you have nothing left.

Do that three to five times, which will take no more than three minutes. You will learn to be able to let go pretty quickly, you learn to relax your muscles, which are tensing due to the anxiety building up in your chest. You will learn to breathe and potentially might learn something about yourself.

3. Step three requires you to TAKE ACTION!

You have now taken the time to get clear on the difficult circumstances and you have accepted it and let it go, now you need to take action. What is going to be the best next thing to do moving forward, that will align with your goals and who you want to be in the future.

Of course, that requires you to ask the question of who you want to be and where you want to be in the future…

However, if you do not know that just yet, which majority of people do not, that is ok. You do not need to know all the answers, this is where asking for advice from a mentor/coach/advisor who has no emotion attached can help significantly. Once you have a clear path forward, you simply just need to take the first step, no matter how hard it is.

No matter how scared you are, fearful of failure or success, with self-doubt resonating, you need to push that to the side, as you have your ego and just take the first small step forward.

I truly hope that has helped, as it has helped myself being able to move forward and not get stuck in the past.

I would love to know if I have been able to help you, if I have, please let me know in the comments below.

Until next time,

Take Back Control.