Life Happens… It’s Not What Occurs That Matters, It Is Your Reaction!!
My last blog, I promised that I would write an article on a quick guide to Superannuation and where to find some comparison websites that would help you to choose a great fund.
Unfortunately, as the title states, life happened, and I have had a massive last two weeks. I won’t go into details just yet, but let’s just say that there will be many changes taking place over the coming few weeks which I am hoping will be a great learning experience for all of us.
Therefore, I wanted to delve into the fact that life is always going to happen, in fact, it was the great philosopher, Gautama Buddha, that said life was about embracing suffering, to let go of the idea of seeking pleasure.
Of course, I am not a Buddhist monk, nor will go to their level of devotion, however, I do believe that life will always include some suffering, because without it, we would never have the direct opposite, pure joy and happiness. Just like there cannot be light without dark, we cannot have happiness without suffering.
Therefore, I have always been able to maintain a pretty optimistic outlook on life and that has always challenged me to react better than most. Which is why I am writing this blog today, because I wanted to share with you that it is ok for things to happen, it is ok for life to happen.
It is not the happenings of the past or the challenges that arise that define you, no, it is rather The Reactions you have to those scenarios.
Your reaction to life, to pressure situations, to challenges, to change, that is what makes you who you are. You can learn to take control of your reactions, which in turn, will help you take control of those situations.
All it takes is for you to let go of your fear, of your doubt, of the failure that occurred or the very identity that you cling to.
Which is much harder to be done, and it may take a very long time, but I always believe it starts with letting go of your EGO, the very essence of your belief’s and ideals.
I want to run through what I have done over the last two weeks that has helped me to get through what has got to be one of the more difficult stages of my life. In the hope it can give you some tools to help you react better, to help you grow and be a better person for it.
Step One is Simply Accepting the Scenario or Circumstance
No matter what happens, being able to accept it goes a long way. The way I work towards accepting it is through journaling, whereby I write down my thoughts, feelings and reflect on my goals. Journaling may not be the thing for you, therefore, you need to find what works best, whether that be drawing, painting, walking in nature, writing poems, coding data or answering difficult mathematic problems… Something where you can shut off from the world and fall into the flow of your creative/intellectual side. (Intellect can be just as creative as drawing a field of flowers.) It may take you time, depending on what has happened, but in the end, you will accept what has happened.
2. Step Two, Comes Down to Letting Go…
Probably the most difficult part of the whole process, which is letting go. Letting go of the person you are, the identity you held on to, the ego you have. We all have an ego, and according to Sigmund Freud, we have a superego or collective ego, as well as an individual ego.
Now, when it comes to ego, understanding that life is in a constant state of flux, nature is forever changing, your very cells are dying and being replaced as you read right now within your body.
Therefore, being able to learn to let go, let go of old ideas, old identities that you have built up to survive in a society/world that you have been so use to…
That is the next step, and like I said, the most difficult, especially if you are clinging to old identities or friends, family, potentially money even etc.
The best way to learn to let go is to stop, something we don’t do much within western society. Being able to stop and breathe, being able to take in all of your emotions that are buried deep within, now boiling up to the surface. And just simply let them go. You can start by simply taking a deep breath in and holding your breath, wait until you are struggling to keep it in and then exhale deeply, until you have nothing left.
Do that three to five times, which will take no more than three minutes. You will learn to be able to let go pretty quickly, you learn to relax your muscles, which are tensing due to the anxiety building up in your chest. You will learn to breathe and potentially might learn something about yourself.
3. Step three requires you to TAKE ACTION!
You have now taken the time to get clear on the difficult circumstances and you have accepted it and let it go, now you need to take action. What is going to be the best next thing to do moving forward, that will align with your goals and who you want to be in the future.
Of course, that requires you to ask the question of who you want to be and where you want to be in the future…
However, if you do not know that just yet, which majority of people do not, that is ok. You do not need to know all the answers, this is where asking for advice from a mentor/coach/advisor who has no emotion attached can help significantly. Once you have a clear path forward, you simply just need to take the first step, no matter how hard it is.
No matter how scared you are, fearful of failure or success, with self-doubt resonating, you need to push that to the side, as you have your ego and just take the first small step forward.
I truly hope that has helped, as it has helped myself being able to move forward and not get stuck in the past.
I would love to know if I have been able to help you, if I have, please let me know in the comments below.
Until next time,
Take Back Control.
